Great day teaching
never ending days in the studio
realized on poor Ben's 30th birthday how grtesque I've become
"Making it be" which i haven't been - has been allowing me to eat and drink mself into this state of ish,,,,,
and I mean yuck. very very very yuck - I won't even turn around for the 3 rippples of celluight I use to fear
now - it's everything. every inch of myeslf
time to get down to work
and so much of t. Tonight I finshed u at 3:09am - so i can be bright and bushy at 8am
need to load the kiln before that and need new shelves and posts to do the impossible before that.
best and only thing out of the kiln today was acid humming bird
- I need to apply to a show everyday. in the case of emergency - i can make it up the next day
- I will take my physical health as seriously as i take this project. I've gained weight, my skins a wreck, I feel like crap honestly because of all the stress - the summer from hell, a SERIOUS stab in the back by my former mentor that broke my heart, the death of my dearest friends Vickers, and 2 next door neighbors - it feels like death is sitting too close to me on the bus and trying to get closer. I've gotten fat, ugly and tired
don't believe me?
don't make me take a picture of my legs for you
I need to take care of myself better.
3) The REAL goal of all of this is to get acceptance letters.
MORE RULES TO COME
but here's where I keep track:
9/16/10 - THE JEROME: a show I've been applying for since I was 18.
this is a definite NO for sure.
good place to start.
so here's what I'm sending (reverse order)