December 07, 2008

This is when I was super sure that my whole future of making art was right before me and I'd be super famous. Like all the big boys in the books - I thought i'd be like all the famous artists, like how Damien Hirst lives, but with out the bad behavior and the effortless art work. I'd be making all my own work, working as hard as I do know, but able to care for the ones I love, and send them to the most beautiful places in the world. I'd pay back anyone who'd ever believed in me with interest and gifts - all because I love to work, but without the stress of bills. I look older in this picture than i do now, and still.... Put me back in this happy face. who doesn't feel like this right now???

Let's face it, no one's buying anything, let alone art - but really, nothing... everything feels out of reach right now. Still, there is something really just grit your teeth "oh my god, is this happening", after being at a generally really great show and seeing so few people it is were a line for people who want root-canals and think that health insurance is not only affordable - let alone, helpful for 'the people'. I think all of us are at home paying for our post-highschool education after the 80's.

It's going to be hard for all of us artists, teachers, workers, mechanics, everyone who maintains anything, parents, makers, creators, inventors, doers, dreamers, hope-driven future lovers..... basically any of us who aren't in charge of the sinking ship - seeing that they are the only ones provided with life boats these days.

I don't know if it's true or not....

all i know is like my dad says

DRIVE - PASSION - & PERSISTENCE. Not only is that they key to living the life you envision - but will be the thing that keeps us going.

Regardless.... this little girl in the picture... who's doing at this age what she wants to do for the rest of her life... wearing a boy's shirt in pink.... who wants to tell her what's going to happen? Like onions, I guess it is about pulling back the layers without crying if you can.

still......... argggg.....
who feels really terrified right now????

I better get ready for work tomorrow
and the next day, and the next.
just like the rest of us.
sleeping and sundays are for the rich - even though it should be equal access, right?